Sarah dragged Susan to a comic convention in Moperville. They had to wait in a long line even after preregistering. Sarah noted that the non-preregistered line was so long it probably went to Mexico. A couple boys in line considered ogling at the two girls and making lewd comments, but then noted the large breasts of a nearby fat guy, causing Susan to prepare for a hammering. She then also gave the lady handing out nametags, etc., a hard time after seeing hers labeled "Tiffany", which caused the lady to explode, calling Susan "a menace to all who believe in properly labeling things!"
Sarah informed Susan that the point of being at the convention was to collect as much "swag" as possible while spending as little money as possible (without making the exhibitors cry). After noting how many people were in costumes and wondering whether they should be dressed up as well, Sarah and Susan ran across a girl in a "pirate" costume - pirate hat, large earrings, a cloth tied around her hips, and duct tape X's over her breasts. While Susan told Sarah not to worry about the girl's size and that asking Ellen to V5 them before the next convention would be wrong, she still noted down the idea.
After Sarah surprised Susan by entering a line for a "convention exclusive" blue-suit Unusagi figure, Susan decided to test the convention's "surveillance" by running through the exhibit hall after hearing someone get called out for the same thing. Susan got called out as well. Her test run got her separated from Sarah and lost, which caused her to question her logic, which was at the Veronica Mars panel. Her curiosity, however, was with her the whole time, and had picked up several quite large bags of swag.
Susan was confronted by a puppet version of Melonpool, who was the main character of a comic written by Steve Troop who also operated the puppet Melonpool. Susan opened up to Melonpool, which surprised her, but he explained that puppets "are nature's psychiatrists". Susan and Melonpool got to talking about swag when the puppet made an ambiguous comment about the pirate girl's "booty". Susan asked whether it was the puppet or puppeteer who should get hammered, and Melonpool laid it on Steve, to Steve's dismay. The conversation then went to the point where they found out they both liked Star Trek, though when Susan said she liked DS9, Melonpool tried looking for someone else to talk to, setting the stage for an epic battle.
Meanwhile Sarah, who was looking for Susan, instead found John "Trout" Troutman, author of a detective-style comic. She hoped he could use his detective-style mind to deduct where Susan went; he couldn't. "The Teague" (author of the comic Mad About U) then appeared out of nowhere to slap a detective hat on Trout's head just after Sarah suggested that was all he needed to gain his deductive skills. It helped, as Trout instantly was able to deduce where Susan was.
Sarah and Trout arrived at the scene of the battle just before it was about to begin, and Trout got out his puppet Sporkman (made by Steve) to diffuse the situation. Sarah kissed Sporkman and thanked him for saving the day, prompting Steve and Trout to dwell on how puppets got all the chicks.