Non-canon minor characters

This is a list of characters who have not appeared in canon and have not appeared often enough to have their own pages. See also Minor characters for canon characters.

Firesheep

Firesheep appeared in series of "filler" sketchbook entries before Ellen's flawless victory on Karaoke singing. The first filler says "Comic delayed on account of fire sheep", the second contains the Demonic Duck riding it and the third is a strip about Ellen threatening Dan if he dare make another sheep filler ... which he does.

Hired Goon

"Grunt."
—EGS Main Story Comic for 2003-08-13

The Hired Goon is a goon Dan hired to settle the confusion about the comic's name once and for all by putting the "Goon" in "El Goonish Shive". The bunnies were not convinced, however. He first appeared in the EGS Main Story Comic for 2003-08-13.

Mark

Mark is a rat-like figure and a character from one of Dan's old comics from before El Goonish Shive. One consolation though: he did make at least this character chart.

Although this information does not appear in EGS, it is known that his name is Mark, and that he is one of "three evil rat things", though none of them were actually evil. In the words of Dan himself:

"His only defining characteristic was being zany and dressing like a hippy for some reason... originally, they all dressed in midieval [sic] garb for some reason. His one brother was a fencer, and the other was deathly afraid of bananas. I'm not sure why they were a mixture of reptiles and rats as opposed to just being rats, but there's a lot about those three that didn't make much sense. Oh, and they were trapped on a tropical island after escaping from an anphromorphic [sic] Cobra. It's POSSIBLE that he was designed shortly after seeing "Alladdin" [sic] EDIT: Oh, and the fencer was a noble rat named "Clifford", and his other brother was "Banana", named for what he feared most. Evidently he'd been scared of bananas since birth or something."

He first appeared in the EGS Main Story Comic for 2002-05-31.

Matt and Rat

"I'm Rat; to my left is Matt. So, you're the hacks who are the stars of the comic that is rightfully ours?!"
—EGS Main Story Comic for 2002-05-30

Matt and Rat were stars of one of Dan's previous comics. Currently they are students at Moperville North High School, and seemed to be the only characters permanently aware of the fact that they are in a comic, but some time after their last appearance, they got treated for their shared psychosis and became productive members of society, no longer having the distinction of being aware of their fictional nature. They first appeared in the EGS Main Story Comic for 2002-05-30.

Mayberry Melonpool

Mayberry Melonpool is a puppet Melotian and titular character of Melonpool by Steve Troop. He ends up talking to Susan at EGS-Con 2006, where they quickly get into a fight over which version of Star Trek is better. Their fight is stopped by Sporkman. He first appeared in the EGS:NP Comic for 2006-08-08.

Minion

Minion is Dan's uryuom minion; the duties of a minion are strikingly similar to those of an Administrative Assistant, but with higher pay. Minion is dry-witted, level-headed, and usually a foil to whatever weirdness Dan has going on. He first appeared in the EGS Main Story Comic for 2003-04-02.

Shop Monster

The Shop Monster, also known as the Gypsy Woman, has appeared in two NP story arcs. She has large elf-like ears and a lizard-like tail, and has been seen to sport a mustache (presumably a disguise). In the first she knowingly sold Tedd a cursed game because she was greedy. In the second she sold Tedd a magic wand that seemingly did nothing from the perspective of its user and the people whom it affected but in fact warped reality.

Her shop stocks a variety of magical items, including a toothbrush that transforms one's teeth and jaws with every use, shrink soda, femme cola, furry juice and the cursed boardgame before she sold it to Tedd. A would-be shoplifter in her shop discovered she (the shoplifter) was stealing shrink soda the hard way. In her second appearance, she was selling discounted magic items at a table in the mall. The items, like the wand she sold Tedd, contained great power, but appeared to do nothing.

She first appeared in the EGS:NP Comic for 2004-06-26.

Sporkman

Sporkman is a puppet superhero from the comic Classic Sporkman by Jodie Troutman. He arrived at EGS-Con 2006 to stop the fight between Melonpool and Susan. A movie is made later named Sporkman Begins, which was apparently a betrayal to the source material. In the movie, Sporkman is "a billionaire playboy who is forced to use gamma radiation to turn himself into a half-spork superhero in order to dig his way out of a cave after he is trapped there by the mobster who murdered his parents". According to Susan and Elliot, it took itself seriously when it should've been funny, apparently making it even funnier. Susan's conclusion is that "It's bad. You should watch it." He first appeared in the EGS:NP Comic for 2006-08-29.

Steve Troop

Steve Troop is the creator of Melonpool from the comic of the same name and attendee of EGS-Con 2006. He is first heard in the EGS:NP Comic for 2006-08-17, but first appears in the EGS:NP Comic for 2006-09-02.

Tanooki

Tanooki is a player character in RetroMud, the game Dan plays during Dan in the MUD. He plays as a raccoon because of the cool emotes. Tanooki is an EGS fan and joined Dan and later Noah to form a party. He first appeared in the EGS:NP Comic for 2005-07-05.

Troutman

Jodie Troutman (formerly John Troutman) is the author of the webcomic Classic Sporkman. After going to the Veronica Mars panel at EGS-Con, she is found by Sarah who asks for her help in finding Susan. After an initial failure, she is given a detective hat by the Teague, leading to her being able to track her down. She then pulls out a puppet summons Sporkman to stop the fight. Her work later becomes a movie, (reviewed by Elliot and Susan) that she reluctantly relinquished creative control over and hates but at least she's a millionaire now. She first appeared in the EGS:NP Comic for 2006-08-12.

Writer's Sphere

The Writer's Sphere is the exact opposite of the Writer's Block and apparently means you have too many ideas, instead of a lack thereof. Its appearance is that of a sphere that also has cat ears, paws, and tail. It first appeared in the EGS Sketchbook Comic for 2004-11-22.