The Brown family consists mainly of Sarah, her father, her mother, and her older sister.
- Main article: Sarah
Sarah Brown became Elliot's girlfriend sometime during the aftermath of the Relations storyline, but later broke up with him (a mutual decision). She is very artistic, and the most 'normal' main character in the comic. Sarah is unusually level-headed considering the number of bizarre experiences she has had, and she rarely loses her temper. She once had an incident involving Tedd transforming her into a cat-girl; since then, she has been extremely cautious about transformations involving herself. However, in the The End of Spring storyline she asked Tedd if he needed a lab assistant, and was accepted; she did this partially to get over her fear and partially to gain some sort of magical ability. Shive has said that in his high school comics, she was much more of a main character, and that he hates that she's become a background character in El Goonish Shive. This may mean that she will be appearing more frequently in future comics.
- Main article: Carol Brown
- "I grew up in Moperville, weird stuff happens here."
—EGS Main Story Comic for 2009-01-20 ("It's About Time We Got a News Reporter!")
Carol Brown is Sarah's older sister. She is a TV news reporter for Channel 4 News. She has covered the uniform controversy at Moperville North, the aftermath of the actions of Abraham's bloodgrem, the aftermath of the actions of Abraham himself and the appearance of Chaos. After the events of the fire summon attack, Carol parachuted down along with her cameraman, Steve, to interview Justin; Steve landed on a nearby roof, but was able to video from there. After the events of the Taurcanis Draco attack, Carol interviewed Elliot in his Party form and received a kiss from her.
Mr. Brown is Sarah's father. He doesn't like it when she sleeps late on Saturdays. He is shown to drink coffee and read the newspaper, at least on Saturdays.
Mrs. Brown is Sarah's mother. She has not been seen yet but has been mentioned as making pancakes on a Saturday.